Why parenting should be learned?
When I hear about people bearing more than four children, I ask myself, “don’t they have anything else to do except reproducing more kids, did they even think about the financial pressure they will be undergoing” and many other questions like these give me a headache. The reason I am mentioning financial thing here is because there are some couples who do at least think about it. But one thing that people do not ponder upon is how are they going to carry out the upbringing of their child, what behaviors should they be instilling in their kid, what and how different life skills they will make their child aware of, and most importantly, the list of do’s and don’ts when the child is around. People do have this idea in their minds that my son will become an engineer when he grows up or my daughter will become a doctor, not realizing that it’s a newly born baby you’re talking about; not a puppet who you can have control over.
Our parents, grandparents, great grandparents, and so on, just had this concept in their minds that the main aim of a marital relationship is to have kids who can later support their parents when they grow old. So, basically it’s all a game of keeping one’s lineage and name of the family.
Now, the question is what to do with a lineage where the individuals become mentally challenged, or do not marry just because their beliefs about it are totally disrupted? The most essential element that keeps on getting overlooked generation after generation is the role of parenting in shaping the minds of children and ultimately their entire lives.
Couples having kids at home often do not realize what language they are using, what tone they are applying in their speech to address others, how are they interacting with each other and with other members of the family, etc. They ignore the fact that children notice even the minute gestures and learn instantly. You keep telling a child that lying is a bad habit, but if he/she sees you lying at any point, the child will forget what you told him/her verbally and will follow your actions.
Having children is not all about feeding, clothing, cleaning, and sending them to school. Parents aren’t merely responsible for all these. There are some other important things that parents need to learn in order to give their child a better life ahead, and unfortunately, all these critical points are often not even pondered upon.
Parents don’t realize how their actions and behaviors affect their children psychologically. Even the little arguments amid the couple can distress the kid, and we see so many couples who fight or father being violent towards the mother, all of this plays a significant role in shaping the mindset and personality of a child. When a child sees his father being harsh, and in extreme cases, being violent towards his mother, the child will either take on his father’s personality and will believe that a man has to demonstrate his power over a woman, or will think that having relationships sucks and he shouldn’t have one.
On the other hand, when a child sees his father and mother being in a respectful and loving relationship, he/she seeks this kind of a bond later in life and proves to be a reliable partner.
I believe that parenting should be a separate course at university level where all students, both male and female, study it on compulsion. And why do I think so? Because educational institutions are responsible for the development of life skills and professional ones to move ahead in life, and since everyone has to reach this stage of becoming a parent sooner or later, therefore they must be aware of how to be a good parent. You need education for everything; we are taught how to speak in the early stages of life, how to write, how to do math, how to make friends, how to do a particular business, how to learn a second language, and even how to have sex. So, when everything is taught and learned, why is this subject of parenting considered unworthy of being taught to the kids who later will have to shape the minds of their children.
Parents make mistakes; nobody’s perfect. And parenting is not a joke either. Our parents do their best to accomplish our dreams and necessities. But, sometimes they go far in fulfilling our materialistic desires and forget about what’s being fed in our minds and souls. Food for the soul and mind is as important as food in the tummies, or maybe even more than that. I have seen many poor parents too, who know how much they can give to their kids and their kids also understand them and deal with the situation patiently, why? Because their parents taught them, not only by words, but through actions.
Reproducing kids is not difficult, everyone does that; what really matters is what you give to your child, and how you make him/her see the world, and that starts from the very time your baby is in the womb. It hears everything and feels everything! Many of the mental issues arise when kids suffer from the daily fights amid the parents, separation, divorce, etc. To get hold onto these problems and give our next generation the best we can, we should all learn parenting skills and fill those gaps what our parents couldn’t provide us emotionally and mentally. I can’t stress this enough, but I’ll say it again, YOU DON’T JUST BECOME PARENTS; YOU LEARN TO BECOME ONE!!